Category Archives: WLS

Almost 50lbs Lost…Deficiency Gained…


The weightloss is going beautifully…i’m nearly 50lbs down.  I’m at 48lbs as of yesterday.  I can’t beleive it.  I am so thrilled that I went through with the surgery.  I’ve had no complications except for a stomach bug that led to dehydration.  When you are eating as little as I am a bug like that can truly derail you.  Still, I could have been drinking a lot more water…all in all it took about 3 days to feel like myself again.  Other than that…it’s been pretty smooth and has been one of the best experiences and gifts I have ever given myself.

I need to take vitamins consistently, I need to excercise and eat more clean.  It’s really been weighing (haha) on my mind to do so.

In other news we may be facing the possibility of bankruptcy.  The shortsale, which we thought was behind us, has come back to haunt us.  We’ve been sued for the deficiency.  What does this mean for a buying a home in the near future? It saddens me…There is a lot going on…but for now i’m just breathing through it.  Can’t forget to breathe…


Recovery after VSG


I have been home with Savannah for approximately 5 weeks and I need to return to work next week.  I don’t know how.  I’m going to miss her bitterly.  One of the ways that I will deal with my feelings is to keep telling myself that I will work to pay off all my debt with my job.  Once my debt is paid off and I have some dollars in the bank, my dream of working part time will be a closer reality.  There is not one mom that tells me there won’t be sacrifices – whether professional or economical – but all of them tell me it will be worth it.

My recovery is going very well and i’m down 30lbs.  I had surgery laproscopically(sp) and have 5 tiny little scars that have healed very nicely.  I tend to feel weak when I do too much or have not had adequate protein…but for the most part i’ve followed instructions and usually have a lot of energy. I’ve also graduated to a nearly full diet.  I’ve progressed from clear liquids to full liquids to blended and pureed foods (baby food consistency) and now meat and carbs.  Bring on the meat!  The focus of my diet is protein.  I. must. get. the. protein. in. Several bites of food fill me up so I am eating protein only for now.

I still haven’t had a need to buy new clothes because a lot of the clothing I had was tight on me and now fits me well.  I think when I lose another 20lbs I’ll have to buy clothes.  The trick will be buying just enough to get by as I continue to lose the weight.  I am really looking forward to it.

I left more than my heart in Mexico…


I reclaimed my body on 1/3/12.  I had weightloss surgery.  I had a Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy.

A week prior to this date, I packed my car and drove myself and Savannah from NY to Georgia. 15 whole hours.  Just me, myself and I.  A few days later I took a flight from Georiga to California.  I met my driver, who drove me across the border into Mexico. I had my surgery the next day.  After surgery I was nauseaus and vomitted often.  I also felt very soar as if I had done one million sit-ups.  I met other American patients and got along with the hospital staff and later on the staff at the hotel I stayed at. Everyone I met was a pleasure; the doctor, whose credentials I checked and whom I spoke to before booking my surgery was every bit as wonderful as he sounded over the phone when I interviewed him.

I went alone.  I am still getting grief about it.  I know it’s crazy and I know it’s something that I would not want Savannah to know about until she’s much older…but…I just wanted to be alone and do this for ME.

For the last several years, my body has belonged to so many people…least of all me.  I’ve shared my body with my precious daughters…I’ve lent it to my husband so that he can become a father and we could fulfill our wish of a living child.  I’ve shared it with all the doctors and nurses and medical assistants that poked and prodded me while I was desperate to find out why Emi died or while I was fighting to keep Daniella alive and finally when I had my TAC surgery that lead us to Savannah.

To a degree, I have felt vialated.  I remember after Emi was born a social worker came to my room to comfort me.  She happened to walk in as they were cleaning me up after delivery and I just saw this look of horror on her face.  I just looked at her and contemplated: woe is me if I can make her look this way – a social worker of all people.  I can only imagine what that scened looked like to her.  Blood everywhere.  I’m in tears, my husband is in tears and there is our dream – our little baby girl…just delivered and laying painfully still between my legs.

With each pregnancy I put on 20lbs.  That’s 60lbs in total.  When you consider that before I gained the 60lbs, I wanted to lose about 40lbs…that meant that my goal was to lose 100lbs.

That’s when I knew I just had to do something about my weight.  Something more than “eat right and excercise” because that has never worked for me longterm.

I’m so glad I took this bold step.  I’m so glad I just went after it and that I did it ALONE and for ME.  And, yes, I’m fully aware that in the long run this investment in myself will trickle down to all facets of my life…but it was an amazing experience to go it alone.

I’m also equally aware that this is so much more about weight, aesthetics…and even health.  It’s is truly about reclaiming years and joy and more than a bit of who I used to be.

And you know what?  I’m really fucking thrilled about it.



I must think about blogging every single day…yet I never find the time to do so.  I must however because I have come to realize that it is one of the ways that I meditate and process all the competing thoughts in my head.

Thoughts…like the coin that Ziggy swallowed which landed us a trip to hospital…x-rays which revealed a coin in her throat…an emergency transfer to another hospital…and overnight stay…surgery the next day which inadvertently propelled the coin into her tummy and into a diaper several days later….sigh.

Or musings on my fun trip to Ohio to visit my girlfriend.  Thoughts on the talks we had…the fun we had…the fun drag show we saw….the excitement I have over knowing that we will be partners in weightloss together…

Thoughts on the decision to  move forward with weight loss surgery in Mexico very early next year…

Processing the idea that the home we invested so much in has closed in a shortsale and we are no longer home owners and adjusting/rationalizing the idea that it was the best decision to let it go for our future…

Writings about how I seem to be adjusting far better to my new role and added responsibilities at work…highly likely to the anxiety meds I am on again.

Recording all the wonderful milestones Ziggy is hitting…the words she’s saying…all her amazing ways…the way she greets her Daddy with repetitive hugs and miles of smiles when he gets home each night…

So much to process…so much to look forward to…

The First Step…


I went to a weight loss surgery seminar.  I’m sure this is the path for me…the only question is…what surgery do I choose and when the hell can I get onto my husband’s insurance for coverage…

Regardless…it was the first step…