The Next Phase

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Ziggy has brought so much joy and happiness to our lives…but there is still sorrow.  There is still work to do.  Our marraige took a huge hit with the loss of our girls. We just got through with talking this morning and it’s clear that my husband is now processing and working through a lot of pain and anxiety that I always knew he had, but not to this extent.

Things were HARD; and for a long time all we had in common was a lot of pain.  I don’t think either of us bargained for all the work that lay ahead after Ziggy.  We just wanted to get Ziggy here – safely and healthfully – and we got that.  Yet we never looked past that goal because it seemed insurmountable, and we never thought about what came next.

So here we are at that ‘next’ phase.

The fire is out; we finally put it out.  Now we are taking a look around…and holy shit…there is much to do.

Finances have to get in order….

Wellness and health must be moved out of the back burner….I’m looking into weight loss surgery…

Emotions have to come out – no matter how ugly- and they MUST be faced, and they MUST be processed and made peace with if we are ever to find some semblance of freedom.

We need to find ourselves as individuals….he has to go bike riding again and running and hiking and skiing…all those things he loved to do.

I need to start practicing yoga again and reading and dancing and cooking and drinking martinis with the ladies over bad and totally inappropriate jokes.

We need to do all these things…so that we can become WHOLE again and find ourselves again…and then find each other.

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One response »

  1. I hear you!
    We spent so many years in crisis mode there was no room for anything else. It was only after the crisis past that we had to take a good hard look around and start picking up the pieces after the fall out!

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