Last Friday was my last day at work with my now former employer. A manager asked if I was sad and I looked her dead in the eye and cooly said no. As a co-worker commented, I had checked out mentally when I gave my notice. The work became very flat and I was once again unchallenged and not motivated. I grew tired of asking for more work and greater challenges.
After giving my notice my former boss gave me the cold shoulder. I can’t beleive she was doing this to me again, after the way we made our peace at my review and everything was going so well. She must feel betrayed. She must feel like all that was said was not genuine because I gave my notice shortly afterward. But I couldn’t be bothered with it. The truth of the matter is that we all have a bottom line and mine is taking care of my family and hopefully finding fulfillment along the way. This opportunity promises to do that. How could I ever pass it up? Was I expected to wait until she was ready to promote me?
I had my exit review with her superiors and although I initially was going to abstain from being truthful about everything that transpired and was going to leave things on a happy note…her ‘cold shoulder’ attitude changed ALL that. I told them everything. I closed by telling them that she was not a bad person, but she was going through a tough medical illness and allowed other people to fill her in on who I was because she trusted them. Although it wasn’t how I planned things…I met wonderful people, learned a lot (usually the hard way) and in the end still would be a generalist so it’s all good.
I said goodbye to my two dearest co-workers. They gave me a nice lunch with yummy cheesecake and beautiful cards signed by many. As I was saying goodbye to one of them she cautioned me to take it easy and not to be overwhelmed by the move, the new job and the baby. And that is when I really lost it and cried. I told her there was a time that I felt that I had nothing to look forward to and now there is so much. “I know”, she quietly said as she cried with me. I’m going to miss seeing her so much. I asked her who would be the one to call me and let me know there were cookies in the conference room? This woman has a heart of gold and I told her to never change, but to remember that her way of being is a gift and not to give it freely, but to allow people to earn it.
That evening Iwent out with my other coworker and over drinks we discussed many realities. She said that the only reason I was never promoted was because the boss wanted to reserve that opportunity for her ‘pet’, the ‘one wo walks on water’ as she has been dubbed by many. I have always known this to be true. She told me that it was their loss and that this was a wonderful opportunity and to go full speed and enjoy it.
So that’s the close of another chapter; I am still so thankful I had the job. It put food on the table and allowed me health insurance for my TAC surgery that paved the way for Savannah. I was able to put training and full cycle recruiting under my belt and I learned a lot of lessons that shape me today.
Forward and onward…