My ob put me on disability a week ago today.  The sciatic nerve pain was getting very bad and I was actually getting episodes of my left hip ‘numbing’ out.  The last thing we want is a bad fall now.  I was also juggling 2 appointments or more a week while working full time and the constant driving back and forth between work and my ob’s  office was just becoming too taxing.  Why take a risk when i’m THISCLOSE to term?  As my pain worsened I knew that going out early on disability was a remote possibility but I was concerned about being home and having all the time in the world to worry and stare at Peaches all day.  I was also concerned about what type of shape I may leave my workplace in due to a sudden departure due to disability.

The sobering discussion last week was a huge wake-up call.  I realized that my boss and company (like most others) were looking out for their bottom line.  Who the hell was looking out for mine?  After my doctor suggested disability – I thought ‘let’s do it’.  I let me boss know the day after our talk that I was going out on leave — effective the next day.  It’s just funny the way things work out, right?  My boss told me in no uncertain terms that my position (my future) was not a priority that she could think about at the time…I guess she’s thinking about it now.

So I’m home resting and baking this baby, my pain is better and I’m trying to stay busy although it’s not easy to move around much.  I have my freak-out moments, but overall i’m doing ok.

3 weeks to term, 5 weeks to my scheduled c-section!

***I just wanted to add that I have always been a permanent employee and thefore I have been receiving benefits and I will be receiving maternity beneftts.  What I am upset about is still having to support receptionist duties (in spite of her promise), these duties are holding me back from further growth at my workplace.***


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

5 responses »

  1. Glad that you are out on disability now. I had terrible sciatica too and once, when I was pregnant with Lily, my leg did give out on me and I fell as I was going up the stairs. It was horribly scary, but I took even more precautions after that.

    Soon you’ll have so much more to do that you won’t be bored I promise! Cherish these days and spoil yourself some. You deserve it Momma! You’re doing a wonderful job. Finish everything up now so that in the next few weeks you don’t have anything to worry about.

    And I promise that the c-section is NOTHING compared to the TAC!! Everyone kept remarking about how I was up and walking around like nothing happened and I kept thinking “You have no idea what I’ve been through….!”

    And screw work. Seriously. I learned too after Lily was born and no one called or sent a card or anything that they didn’t care about me either. It was a bad feeling and I was sad about it for a while especially how they went out of their way for other people and their babies. I needed to take care of myself and my family. That’s it. Period.

  2. I, for one, am very glad to hear you are home baking your baby! It’s amazing how we can be so loyal, sometimes to our own disadvantage.

  3. this sounds like a good thing. and while i totally understand wanting to keep yourself distracted, i bet you will come to treasure this time. i hope you get lots of rest and indulge in good books and bad TV to your heart’s content. i’m sorry your workplace does not appreciate you – sadly this is often the way. i hope you know it is totally ok to shake the dust from your heels and to focus on you and baby. thinking of you! xo

  4. I was happy to uncover this particular site. I wanted to thank you for your time, and then for this wonderful read – I certainly appreciated each and every little bit of it, and already have you book-marked to check out new stuff.

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