Daniella, 2 Years Later


I forgot that today’s was Daniella’s birthday.  Well, I knew it was coming up for weeks, but somehow today it slipped my mind.  I had missed a call on my cell phone and the flashing light caught my eye, and then the date did.  I could surmise so many things from this simple event.  Healing…accpetance….it means so many things.  But what it doesn’t mean, what it could never mean is that I am over her death, or that this baby could ever replace her.  It doesn’t mean that I long for her any less or that I wouldn’t give it all to have her back.

Right now, as I write I am also stealing glances at the candle I lit for her.  It flickers and I somehow know that she is here, she always has been and a part of her energy or her essence always will be.  I cling to this knowlege always, as I will tomorrow when I reflect on the day she died.


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

7 responses »

  1. You’re right, it means many things, including healing and acceptance, and that is never a bad thing. But no child ever takes the place of another… you will always be a mom of three (or more, who knows?) even if two of them are not physically here with you now.

    Sending you love and hugs today, and thinking of your precious Daniella.

  2. Thinking of you! I cannot imagine how difficult that past couple of years have been for you but totally agree, the essense fo Daniella will always be with you!

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