I forgot that today’s was Daniella’s birthday. Well, I knew it was coming up for weeks, but somehow today it slipped my mind. I had missed a call on my cell phone and the flashing light caught my eye, and then the date did. I could surmise so many things from this simple event. Healing…accpetance….it means so many things. But what it doesn’t mean, what it could never mean is that I am over her death, or that this baby could ever replace her. It doesn’t mean that I long for her any less or that I wouldn’t give it all to have her back.
Right now, as I write I am also stealing glances at the candle I lit for her. It flickers and I somehow know that she is here, she always has been and a part of her energy or her essence always will be. I cling to this knowlege always, as I will tomorrow when I reflect on the day she died.