Today is a good day…Ziggy and I hit the 28 week mark. We are finally in the 3rd trimester and viability is at 90-95% – this an amazing milestone. After my losses I was asked when I would feel safe in a subsequent pregnancy. I would always say when the baby is safely in my arms; they thought I was being cute and prodded for a ‘real’ answer. Needless to say these were not deadbaby folk. Due to my lack of success with a vaginal cerclage, I would offer 28 weeks as the earliest in-pregnancy date that would help me breathe easier (and the baby too…). 28 weeeks was a fucking awesome perspective pre-TAC. But who the hell embarks on a TAC looking only for 28 weeks? I’m in it for the long haul.
On another note – anxiety is rearing her very ugly fucked up head. I was visiting with BigSexy and Mr. Diplomat today and told them about how i’ve been feeling. Worried, anxious, fearful…and hopeful. I’ve been so ‘viability-focused’ and now that it’s been attained, my focus has now shifted to getting her here safely. Truth be told, I want her out the moment she can be out safely. This is not for my sake in ANY way…it’s for hers…I just want her safe and sound. The last thing I want to hear a doctor begin to say is “If only…”
In a very assertive, yet understanding way Mr. Diplomat told me I had to fight my anxiety for Ziggy. I have to remember that stress, tension and fear based hormones can affect her. I have to choose to be calm. His words had a very positive effect on me. BigSexy reminded me about the bio-physical profiles and non-stress tests that I have booked. She assured me that if anything looks off my doctors will be proactive.
I am so fortunate to have fabulous friends like them. I am going to give it my all to be calm in this final trimester. I just can’t beleive that the finish line is actually within sight.