Milestone – The (ELUSIVE) Third Trimester!

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Today is a good day…Ziggy and I hit the 28 week mark.  We are finally in the 3rd trimester and  viability is at 90-95% – this an amazing milestone.  After my losses I was asked when I would feel safe in a subsequent pregnancy.  I would always say when the baby is safely in my arms; they thought I was being cute and prodded for a ‘real’ answer.  Needless to say these were not deadbaby folk.  Due to my lack of success with a vaginal cerclage, I would offer 28 weeks as the earliest in-pregnancy date that would help me breathe easier (and the baby too…).  28 weeeks was a fucking awesome perspective pre-TAC.  But who the hell embarks on a TAC looking only for 28 weeks?  I’m in it for the long haul.

On another note – anxiety is rearing her very ugly fucked up head.  I was visiting with BigSexy and Mr. Diplomat today and told them about how i’ve been feeling.  Worried, anxious, fearful…and hopeful.  I’ve been so ‘viability-focused’ and now that it’s been attained, my focus has now shifted to getting her here safely.  Truth be told, I want her out the moment she can be out safely.   This is not for my sake in ANY way…it’s for hers…I just want her safe and sound.  The last thing I want to hear a doctor begin to say is “If only…”

In a very assertive, yet understanding way Mr. Diplomat told me I had to fight my anxiety for Ziggy.  I have to remember that stress, tension and fear based hormones can affect her.  I have to choose to be calm.  His words had a very positive effect on me.  BigSexy reminded me about the bio-physical profiles and non-stress tests that I have booked.  She assured me that if anything looks off my doctors will be proactive.

I am so fortunate to have fabulous friends like them.  I am going to give it my all to be calm in this final trimester.   I just can’t beleive that the finish line is actually within sight.

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About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

10 responses »

  1. You look so happy and beautifully pregnant! Choosing to be happy is tough when your mind is so fully of worry. It’s not like we choose to be anxious but it happens. I’ll be sending good thoughts your way and you keep taking them all in.

  2. you look gorgeous! what a beautiful belly, you just glow. I am sorry you are feeling so anxious…sending you hugs. Deep breaths…

  3. You. Look. Amazing. It brings tears to my eyes to see you so healthy and happy…and pregnant! 🙂

    I agree with BS & MD…you just have to make the choice to focus on the good things, and not dwell on the “what if’s”. You’ve hit a major milestone, and that’s reason to celebrate (with a non-alcoholic beverage, haha). Now, relax, and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

  4. Lookit you with the big baby belly! 28 weeks is a huge milestone and I love the smile on that face.

    I agree with Big Sexy and Mr Diplomat that you have to shift your focus, even if it’s by force. We want that lil one to stay in place, safe and snug, as long as she possibly can. And if the drs see anything that causes them worry, they will do something about it.

    And until the day the beauty arrives, do what you can to enjoy every single second

    *hugs*

  5. you look fantastic. congratulations on this milestone! anxiety – its so natural for babylost world. you aren’t going to hurt your baby – just focus on treating yourself good, good, good. hurrah for viability! xo

  6. Yayyyy! I’m so happy and thanks to you, hopeful again! You look so pretty and so happy. Just read your post today, so you are actually at 30 weeks now! Soooo exciting! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

    God bless you and Ziggy!

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