Never easy, eh?


Where do I start?

Last week I attended a gestational diabetes education class and met with a nutritionist.  I was very impressed by the class and meal plan agreed  upon.  I learned how to take my blood sugar 4x a day as well.  I met with the diabetes doctor today and she was very happy with my blood sugar levels but was concerned that my fasting levels were borderline or high, while all the other numbers remained within heatlhy levels.  She gave me a prescription for a medication to help my insulin do it’s work better over night.  She also suggested I have a blood draw  (another one – why not?) to check out what my levels have been for the last 3 months.  Sometimes if you are diabetic early in pregnancy it could affect the baby’s heart or limbs.  She does not think I need to worry, because I already had a successful Level II…but still I should have my blood drawn, so I did…right after meeting with her.  Currently, I am waiting for those results.


Yesterday I stayed home from work due to a very painful sore throat which only got worse with a pounding headache.  Now let me tell you, I have a high tolerance for pain, but this was bad.  I thought I might pass out so I went to the emergency room.  I was diagnosed with strep throat.  Get this…yesterday was Emi’s anniversary.  So i’m in the hospital at 22 weeks pregnant remembering the precious baby girl I lost at 22 weeks.  Fucking awesome.  Destiny is humorous. 

I’m also weening myself off of zoloft.  The combination of all these things is nerve-wracking.  But i’m breathing…in and out…trying to stay sane and savoring every kick and nudge of this little beign within.


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

6 responses »

  1. My first thought was that the Universe put you in the hospital at that same 22 week stage to show you that this time….it’s going to be okay. Not as a way to scare you, but as a way to comfort you on a day that was really difficult for you in the first place. Big hugs to you.

    Wean SLOWLY off the Zoloft ok? Did you discuss that with your doctor? Of course you did. LOL I would think that would be a scary idea mid pregnancy, with a concern that you could end up with worse post partum from it.

    Hang in there kiddo. Keep these updates coming. I say a prayer for you and that little bean every night, and feel better knowing everything is okay! 🙂 Funny isn’t it….we don’t even know each other and yet I feel like the cyber-aunt. 🙂

  2. Hi Jaded.

    I accidentally stumbled upon your blog today and immediately became captivated. I read the entire blog start to finish in less than 2 hours, I was glued to the screen. I found myself in tears sometimes crying uncontrollably and at other times cracking up at your humor.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for your honesty, for the ease with which you wear your heart on your sleeve for all the world to see.

    I lost my daughter in Nov. 09 due to Incompetent Cervix. My partner and I had been trying for 3 years and this baby was a result of our first IVF attempt. We were so excited to get pregnant on our 1st try. The devastation still lingers in me, the horror still so raw. As her due date approaches (April 9) I worry about what that day will be like. Reading your blog and how you handled the due dates of Emme and Daniella, gives me a little hope that although the day will be very difficult, I will be okay.

    I plan to start IVF again in March and am in contact with Dr. Davis for my post pregnancy TAC.

    I feel so GRATEFUL to you for your honesty and detailed walk through your TAC. Your humor is awesome, and your rage is so real. I love the honesty in your rants (in-laws)!

    I am so happy that your current baby is thriving and that the TAC is holding fast.

    You are in my prayers and I hope that we can keep in touch.


    • Welcome Jules,

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby. It is truly a state of devastation as you have put it. There are no words, but just know that my heart beats with yours in sorrow. Be ever so gentle with yourself and I will pray for you, your partner and think of your precious baby.
      I would be more than happy to stay in touch and am thrilled that you have come in to contact with Dr. Davis. I met him a year and a half before the actual surgery and I was floored at how fast the process moved once we were ready for the TAC. I want you to relax and know that you are dealing with the best. Please check out AbbyLoopers and I encourage you to ask me any questions you may have before, during and after the TAC. There is no such thing as too much information in my book. I tell it how it is. I wish you the best of luck with your approaching IVF. You are brave and courageous to take this step.

      Love and light,

  3. I’m sorry you had to be at the hospital at the same time as you lost Emi. I’ve been thinking of her a lot lately and I just wanted you to know I did not forget her. I have something for you I’ve just been to lazy to email it to you. Now that I’ve said it, maybe I’ll get it done.

    I hope your throat is feeling better.

    hugs and happy birthday to Emi.

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