I am on the very cusp of what will be nothing less than a life saving procedure for my baby tomorrow.
Sometimes you just have to give in, even if that means giving in to fits of sadness and bitter tears. I thought of my girls today, passionately, deeply and whole-heartedly. I manged to choke out “I’m so sorry” several times through my tears and pain-filled breaths thinking of Emi and Daniella. Thinking about how I was powerless to save them and could only watch as life slipped away from each. As I take in the enormity of what tomorrow represents to this baby and to my painfully suspended hopes and dreams I look forward to the future. I just wish I could have offered more to my daughters than pointless bargaining with a higher power and bitter tears.
Forward and onward. Blinders on. I am so ready.