My husband’s work week was reduced to 4 days, effective next week.  That, along with the 5% salary cut that was in effect means he is making 25% less.   With our roomate and modified way living (attacking debt and living more frugaly) we should be ok.  He is feeling deflated about this…as one might expect.


Last Sunday my mom and I discussed the pregnancy.  I started crying.  I have some real odds against this baby.    Meckel-Gruber syndrome and it’s 25% recurrence risk is possible.  When I focus on our 75% chance of success I remember my incompetent cervix.  When I think of the transabdominal cercalge that should resolve that , I think of requesting P17 shots.  😦

Still, I tell myself to just shut up and be happy.


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

7 responses »

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband’s work. That must be so stressful for you both. And I can’t even imagine what you’re going through with the pregnancy. Hang in there.

  2. Shut up and be happy. 😉

    Honey, you of all people know there are no guarantees. I know you are going to worry every minute of every day of the next 8 months. But your body is under enough stress without adding that to it.

    So take a deep breath, have faith and concentrate on sending positive, good vibes to that little bean inside you. For every worry you have, make yourself send two positives thoughts. Say them out loud. BELIEVE THEM.

    You are already on this journey, so whatever is going to happen is going to happen. It’s already destined. Fasten your seatbelt and enjoy the ride.

    For the next 18 years or so that little boy (uh huh) is gonna give you plenty to worry about once he gets here!!!!!

  3. I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be okay because I hate when people tell me that…makes me feel like they think I’m being silly for worrying about something especially when it’s my baby…what I am going to tell you is this….I know it’s hard to be hopeful, I understand that. You’ve lost more than anyone should ever have to lose but I work hard to try and remember that this is a new day, a new baby, a new pregnancy (I’m still trying to get to the end game so maybe I’m full of it). I understand it’s hard because you prayed and begged the universe for your little girls but you need to breathe through the fear and say “screw the odds!” Forget being realistic and just enjoy being pregnant. This will be the healthy baby that you get to hold at the end of 9 months.

    Easier said than done, I know but I’m rooting for you and so are a lot of other people who read your blog. When you get scared and worried, post here and we will remind you to have hope…

  4. argh I’m sorry. I know it’s not much, but man that sucks.

    I seem to live by the motto – prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

    Be vigilant, ask for what you need, do what you have to, and let your heart hope.

  5. wishing you all the best, jaded. I understand your fears. talk with your doctor. if you’re not happy with the answers, find a specialist. just remember to breathe.

  6. I just spent all night reading your blog. It is so nice to meet you. I was so sorry to read about Daniella and Emi and what you have been through. You know they are in a better place and you would not have wanted them to suffer one day longer than they should have to. I will be praying for you and this new child and keeping you and baby in my thoughts and visiting often. I wish I could be as open as you and speak so honestly about my life which is not the way I expected it to be either but in some ways I am very blessed (and so are you). I try to remember to count my blessings when it is so hard to get up out of bed and face another day. But somehow I do get up and I do go on and so do you. That takes courage so give yourself props for that. I have one child and I have never had to face the struggles you have with having a child but still your story resonates with me. Have a wonderful day today.

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