I’ve been quiet, but not for lack of things to write about.
I decided to put TTC on hold until next month – it’ all about being eligible for leave with my employer at the time of the TAC surgery.
I have been looking for a part time position for quite some time and finally in one week I get 3 offers! One was for 30 hours at one company and then the opportunity for another position at another company came up. I hit it off with the recruiter and she offered me the opportunity to come back and interview for yet another position that pays more more money. 30 hours is too much – so I am going for the position that is only 20 hours and of course pays more. I don’t know when I start yet. I am doing this of course in order to get out of debt.
My husband cashed in a portion of his retirement to get us clear out of debt – we are still concerned at the possibility that he could lose his job. We are not happy about having made that decision, but we will be debt free in case he loses his job. Debt free. Wow.
The last few weeks have been wonderful between my husband and I. It’s like we are falling in love all over again. I know most of it falls upon the changes in me – I no longer remind him of the fact that I think most members of his family are of the scum of the earth, nor do I obsess about our reproductive future. I feel like I have found a portion of my old self again. I have martinis, and I go dancing, and wear make-up more; I have been experimenting with my cooking more (my love) and just enjoying being a woman and a wife. The prospect of gambling this fragile peace in order to make a baby scares me, yet the true paradox for me is the thought of not ever trying again and I won’t have that. My baby waits for me.