I showed up for my first dry run of my presentation with my boss and the operational manager; they were playing the audience . I had set up all my notes along with the slides to show up on my screen, assuming that the audience would see only the slides and not my notes. Not the case. Uh huh. Whatever I see they would see, I was not expecting that. I wanted to die; I was mortified. I had to use the original facilitator’s notes instead of mine. The facilitator’s notes were confusing and that’s whay I made my own. My own notes which I could not use. Ugh. Just ugh. I did my best, but not well at all. I kept repeating myself and missing important information because I had to use the original draft I worked my notes from; these notes had turned into chicken scratch in the process. I had words crossed out and arrows moving text around and suggestions all over the facilitator’s guide. I kept confusing myself while presenting; I was so embarassed. They were both understanding and told me that with practice it would be better. They told that they did not ‘own’ the presentation until they had given it 4 times. This was my opportunity to wow them and it just did not work out. I have a few more practice sessions next week and I know I can do better, but when you work your butt off to give a fabulous presentation a mediocre one won’t do. Afterward I hid and called my mom and just balled. She listened and encouraged me and was an overall good mom to me.
The day before my presentation I went to therapy, I talked a lot. It was another bitch fest, nothing new, but I felt refreshed after it. Too bad I did not schedule therapy on the same day as my presentation. I really could have used it.
Yesterday I had 4 teeth removed in one pop (or 4). I had two impacted wisdom teeth on both sides. I came home and slept all day due to the anestesia and medication. In between naps I got to speak my girls: my mom, my grandma, my two baby cousins (not such babies anymore – a 19 year old and a 21 year old) and my girlfriend Joy. I was taking per.cocet and it had me all types of drowsy and all types of ‘chill’. (I can soooo understand how people can get addicted to pain killers.) While talking to my mom she gave me some advice for when I have my own children. Later on my younger cousin needed some advice and encouragement. She told me she would give anything to have me as her mom. She said I was going to be a fabulous mom. They touched my heart. It was a good day – tooth extractions and all.
Today I’m going over to BigSexy’s house to watch a movie with Beefcake. “I’m making you meatloaf and mashed potatoes because you are missing some teeth girl and need to go easy on the one’s you have”. She always finds a way to make me smile. She’s such a bud.
In the midst of all this the husband and I got down and dirty and were a little careless. I think I was on cycle day 10 or 11 and we should be okay because I ususally have a regular cycle I’m not going to lie, we would both be thrilled with an oops baby. But really I’m not counting on it.