Just got back from therapy.
We discuss the ‘yo-yo’. It’s simple.
Our subconscious mind sends emotions and bits of memory up to our conscious mind so that we will deal with the pain these reminders bring. The hope is that we confront them and put it behind us (in time). Most support groups function this way; every time you attend you tell the group why you are there. In this way, you come to confront your inner demons. Outside of a support group structure, we usually respond by pushing those feelings right back down in order to not to deal with them. Up and down…like a yo-yo.
Makes perfect sense.
I asked him if he thought I had Pos.t Traumatic Str.ess Disorder.
“Just a hint”, he answers simply.
I breathe deeply.
“Do you think that there is something wrong, I mean really wrong with me. Do you think I may need medication or do you think I might be nuts?” (Blunt, right?)
He smiles: “You are ok. You are doing fine. You are taking the right steps. I have met with rape victims and people that have survived car accidents, and they all ask the same questions.”
I say, “Sometimes the thought of living the rest of my life with this pain is overwhelming.”
He shifts in his seat and seems to drop the ‘therapist’ posture. He leans forward.
“You will never be over this. The goal is that you live your life inspite of it.”