Therapy Session #2

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Last week I went to my second therapy session.   The psychologist explained a concept that I am having trouble recalling.  I think it’s called the ‘chronological elevator’ or the ‘chronological emotional elevator’…anyway…

Long story short:  Our childhood really dictates a lot.  A LOT.  He gave this expample:  Let’s say a 7 year old boy has a bad day at school and rather than wish to return to school to deal with it, he would rather not.  Of course his parents make him go back, but he did not make that choice for himself.  So said boy would grow up and make similar decisions.  He would likely not participate in extra-curricular activities, or would pass up on a promotion at work…etc.    This boy, now a man, would always take the easier more, expected road.   This man did not mature emotionally beyond age 7, and therefore regardless of his accomplishments, he would revert back to that  age.  Whew!  This now (just throwing a  number) 34 year old man would function as his 7 year old self when responding to stress.  (…or something like that…note to self…blog about your therapy sessions immediately).  Next, he explained why when under stress we can’t do simple things; and then when no longer under stress we can recall how.  Again, it’s because a 34 year old under stress takes the emotional elevator and reverts back to a 7 year old boy.  

Confusing?  A little.  But I am starting to see a theme and I am looking forward to my psychologist expanding on this.

The psychologist just let’s me sit there and say whatever comes to mind.  So I did.  I mentioned on how my husband seems to bounce back quicker.  I mentioned that my in-laws were hard on me and that I just don’t want to care about what people think anymore.   He responds by telling me that aside from all the physical changes of pregnancy that prepare the body for labor and birth, that there are hormonal emotional changes.  The body secretes hormones that prepare the mother to bond with the child.    That was very validating.

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About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

3 responses »

  1. Oh, absolutely! As a mother, we bond with that baby the second we find out there’s one in there! From that minute on, every action we take, every thing we do, every thing we eat and drink revolves around taking care of the baby. Dad’s don’t have that experience. They don’t feel it move, or focus 24 hours a day on it like we do. They know we’re pregnant, but they don’t “live” the pregnancy with every breath they take. So we are far more bonded with the baby than they are. And yes, the hormones play a huge role in it as well.

    I think you are going to get a lot out of therapy, and I’m so proud of you for taking this step. You, my dear, fucking rock. 🙂

  2. The emotional elevator thing makes sense and I can see how that would be. So rather than those base emotions maturing right along with the rest, we revert to them.

    Fight or flight?

    I agree with Monica – I think this guy’s good for you.

    ryc: Keep your snow lol I grew up near Chicago and don’t miss it. Well, sometimes I do – but only the look out the window at it while drinking hot chocolate part. Not the get out and cold and wet part.

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