We met with Dr. Miracle.  My husband and I made the 2-hour drive and were patiently waiting in his office.   Three student doctors walked in and sat down.  I wanted them to leave and then thought to myself, no, they should remain and learn, and help others some day.  My husband cracked jokes with them, I swear, he can make friends with anyone, under any situation.  Dr. Miracle strolled in and cut right to the chase.  After us asking several questions and he answering and vice versa we came up with a ‘plan’.  Being that I held onto Emi until induction at 22 weeks and that my cervix did not display changes with Daniella until 21 weeks, we would aim for a transabdominal cerclage (TAC) at 14 weeks.  A sonogram should reveal if the baby shows signs of Meck.el Grube.r Syndrome by 14 weeks.  If not, we shall go through with the TAC.  Dr. Miracle is so confident that he borders on being cocky.  But who can blame him?  He boasts a 100% success rate of his TAC’s not failing.  He explained the pros and cons of different methods, I told him I trusted him.  “You could show up the day of surgery in a clownsuit (this received much laughter from the students), but if you’re comfortable with the procedures and methods, I am too.”  He smiled and said “they are laughing because I just might!”  Once we all felt satisfied with the information gathering we shook hands; as he shook mine he gave me a genuine smile and said “We will get you your baby”.

We were only a half hour away from Atlantic City casino’s so we decided to go.  We had a great time, hung out till the wee house, got buzed with great martini’s, hung out at a beach bar under a beautiful moon with the sound of rolling waves in the distance and ate great Thai food.  AND, and, and…won over $2,000 (lost $300, but who the fuck cares)!  With all the luck we were having I joked that he should drop his pants so that we could have a go at TTC under our table!  (I think I was one martini shy of jumping on him!) We drove home that night exhausted but happy and hopeful.  We NEEDED an outing like this.  Losing our girls has taken a tremendous toll, and we were forgeting to nurture our relationship.  This was great.

We are going to start TTC sometime in September/October.  Unlike casinos and the roll of the dice, we will once again gamble on unimaginable joy or unimaginable sorrow.


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

11 responses »

  1. Hee, hee! You really should have had a go!

    Congrats on the win at the casinos. I keep telling my DH that we sould be playing the lottery with our odds lately. We haven’t yet, but there’s always that first time.

    I’m so glad that you had a great visit with “Dr. Miracle”.

  2. Glad the meeting went well. I can’t believe you won so much in AC! I am so glad you had a fun night out with each other. It’s easy to forget about nurturing the relationship. I know I was like that too. I hope your next gamble pays off better than AC!

  3. Glad you had a good visit with the doc, jaded girl.

    We are going to start TTC about the same time. I hope our gambles pay off this time. Keeping my fingers crossed that they do.

  4. yeah for finding a great doctor! makes all the difference…

    i will be thinking of you as you start TTC. only a mom in our shoes knows how freaking tramatic it is. but it can be done!

  5. Thank you for the comment on my blog. I hope you get your Someday Baby soon too. They told me when I lost our son that having another baby will help heal those emotional wounds. I now believe that it does help, but what do you do when getting that next baby is so hard? I am thinking about you and wishing you success with number 3 baby.

  6. I told you that you would love him : )

    I’m so glad that you liked him so much. Derick and I were just talking this morning about how he saved Lily’s life. There aren’t words to thank a person like that.

    I’ll agree, he is a little cockey. But he can be. He’s earned it! My OB’s words were, “He’s a little bit of a cowboy, but he’s got the facts to back it up.” Lol, so true.

    Wow what a win in AC! I’ve NEVER won that much there. That’s why I can only go with like $150 or something, lol! Otherwise I’d bet the farm…

    Here’s to big gambles paying off, they sure did for me.

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