I’ve been thinking lately about how at this point by mid June, many plans should have been underway. Had Emi lived, we would now be planing her first birthday party, as she was due July 4th. Maybe we would have done a cookout at a local park or rented a hall with a fireworks display to end the night. Had Daniella still been in my womb, we would now be putting the finishing touches on our plans for a baby shower as well as putting the first coats of paint in the nursery.
What I did not plan on ever was that both of them would have passed. Truth be told, we would not have planned on conceiving Daniella had Emi lived. Yet I would have never thought that Emi would have had Meck.el Grub.er Sy.ndrome. I would have never dreamed that we were slowly losing Daniella due to an incompetent cervix. I would have never thought that the emergency c.erclage would be complicated by infection.
And lastly I would not have planned on returning to the support group as I will tonight. I did plan on going back after Danilla’s successful birth, but not like this. Right now I’m feeling blue. I miss my girls.