Some Hope

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I found this article while surfing the net on cerclages.  I think this is the exact procedure the maternal fetal specialist, let’s call him Dr. Stiffneck (he’s always rubbing his neck) had mentioned.  This article and outcome makes me feel better, like there might be some fucking hope left.  It shows that others who have lost two separate pregnancies so far along, have the courage to move on.  So why not us?

My husband, Mr. Positive is all set to try again.  He says we should not lament and linger, but move forward.  He is taking our losses very hard, especially that of Daniella, as she was born alive and was not plagued with Meckel-Gruber syndrome.  Sometimes I wonder if he has taken stock of all i’ve been through.  But in anycase, we will move forward and can’t wait until our consultation.

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About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

7 responses »

  1. I had a trans-abdominal cerclage placed in March after two previous losses and a failed vaginal cerclage. There are both pro’s and con’s of having it done laproscopically and regular (lol, can’t think of the name). Mine is a horizontal incision. I won’t lie, it’s big. But lets face it, I’m not wearing a bikini anytime soon and the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain we (you and I) have already been through. There is an amazing group on yahoo called Abbyloopers and if you haven’t joined already, I strongly urge you. My best piece of advice is to find a doctor to perform the procedure who has done many of them. I don’t know where you live, but on Abbyloopers they have lists of doctors who have performed them all over the country. It’s a very specialized procedure, and we traveled just outside of Philadelphia to have mine placed. The doctor that I saw, Dr. Davis, truly is a man of God. I have no other words to describe him. It’s not something that I would trust a doctor to do who has only done surgery like them or who has done less than 5. Think of it this way, if you had to have open heart surgery you wouldn’t want to see someone who could do it or thinks they could do it…and you probably wouldn’t want to see someone who’s only done 2 or 3. Find out what their success rate is and go from there. The day that I meant Dr. Davis he said to us, “Women come to me because they don’t want to have children, they need to have children. No one wants to get up in the middle of the night and change dirty diapers. People do this because they need to…their lives aren’t complete without a living child.”

    Anyhow, I can tell you with great certainty that there is hope. It is not lost. It’s a long, scary road…but the success rate of the TAC is 94-97% GETTING TO FULL TERM! The success rate of a vaginal cerclage is about 80% but ONLY getting to viability. I have yet to see someone with a subsequent loss after a TAC related to it or even complications from it.

    If you have absolutely any questions, please don’t hesitate to email me. I’d be more than happy to talk to you privately more. I am pregnant again, and I understand that it could be hard for you, but since I understand what you are going through and the feelings that you may have I don’t push it on anyone. I just wanted to warn you before you visited my blog…but don’t let it stop you from emailing me if you have any thoughts or questions. I’d be more than happy to share with you all the information that I have.

    Lots of luck to you guys. I’ll deffinately keep reading and I’m praying for peace and comfort to come to your family soon. A first loss is hard, and a second is often catastrophic. There are a few of us who are facing a TAC…many, many more than I’d like.

  2. Reading your post reminded me of something Eleanor Roosevelt said:

    “You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.” Eleanor Roosevelt

    Mrs. Roosevelt was describing you. Never doubt that you are very, very special. Here is the URL of a blog of a mom who refused to give up. After several heartbreaking losses, she had a cerclage during her last pregnancy (her fourth), and it was the answer She recently gave birth to a full-term baby girl. Her journey was a journey of courage and hope, like yours.

    http://littlemkv.blogspot.com/2007_01_01_archive.html

    I am thinking about you and your family. I pray that you are given comfort and peace.

  3. I just have to say that I admire your strength and fortitude. Infertility really shows us how strong we truly are. All the best…

  4. Daniella’s story reminds me so much of Harvey’s birth last July – just so sad.

    I too am considering the TAC if (when!) I get pregnant next time. It is one out of 3 options for me having lost at 22 weeks due to infection of a McDonalds cerclage. It’s a big decision but I do think it gives a lot of people a really good fighting chance.

    Sam.x

  5. I am so very sorry for what you and your husband are going through. I wish I had some words that I could say to you that might comfort and console you; but all I can tell you is that you’re in my thoughts.

  6. i just wanted to say i am so very, very sorry.

    and when you are ready for a next time, the laparoscopic abdominal cerclage is a really wonderful option.

    but for now, i wish you strength…and in time, peace and healing and a way forward.

  7. Hello, you don’t know me. I’m so very sorry for your losses. I’m a success story for TAC. I had a TAC placed after two previous cerclages failed. We now have one living child. Even though I don’t believe in miracles, my son seems like one to me. You may visit our site at: http://www.angelfire.com/sd2/gems/index.html to read about our children who’ve died.

    I haven’t spent time at Abbyloopers but I know it is a great group.

    No one should ever have to go through this, not once not twice not more than that. I’m so sorry. I don’t know why some of us get the short stick in life over and over again. It makes no sense. None.

    All my best to you.

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