She’s gone


Daniella was born on May 12, 2008 at 11:30PM. She later died on May 13, 2008 at 3:10AM. She was born after over 20 hours of a grueling labor. I wish I were dead. There are no words for my pain.


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

71 responses »

  1. JI am lost for words. I can not believe that this has happened I have had to read this post over and over to take in what you have said. I am so so so sorry J, I just don’t know what else to say. I wish I could be there to hug you or to hold your hand. Everything I have tried to write seems just empty and hollow. I wish that Daniella were still here with you, I wish you weren’t going through this immense pain for a second time. I just wish that there was something I can do. I am always here if you need to talk, just say the word.J I’m so sorry, please know my tears are falling along with yours. Love your friend K x x xxxx

  2. Here from Coggy’s blog — and I’m at a loss for words. So awfully sorry. And angry. And devastated. Holding you in my thoughts.

  3. I read this a few hours ago, and couldn’t respond right away. I have been trying to think of something to say, but I know there are no words. I have felt sick to my stomach since reading this. I am soooooo sorry for the loss of Daniella. You don’t deserve this, no one does. I am praying for you, praying that you find the strength to get through this. Again, I am so so sorry. I know that’s inadequate, but you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. I am so, so sorry. No words can really express the level of my sorrow (and like Tash said, anger, devastation, disbelief).You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to form the words to make you feel better because nothing short of waking you up from this nightmare will help. I wish I could bring Daniella back and that everythingwas okay but I don’t have that power. I wish I did. Please know my heart breaks for you and your husband. This is in no way fair and I can’t beilve it has happened to you again. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. Oh my. I am SO sorry! I can’t imagine the pain. I am crying with you. There are no words. I can’t believe this happened again! Shit!

  7. I am so incredibly sorry, honey. It breaks my heart in a million pieces to read this. I am sick about this. I know there is nothing we can say to make this horrid time any easier, but know that we are here if you need to talk, vent, cry.Please take care, sweet girl–Reese

  8. I am so very very sorry. I know those words don’t even come close to being what you really need though.Every good wish I have . . . .

  9. I am so sorry to hear this. Please lean on us, we are here for you.I just can’t believe this, everything was going well for you.~a

  10. I just came over from CLC’s blog. I am so sorry for your losses. There are just no words, but I’m so, so sorry. Please know that you are not alone. You are in my thoughts.

  11. I came by way of another blog and was reduced to tears. There are tradegies in this life that I simply cannot make sense of. I am so, so sorry. No words can make this pain go away. I am praying for you. May God grant you peace. Even though we cannot understand, all we can do is hold on to Him blindly. You and your sweet husband and lovely baby girl are in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. I am here from Coggy’s blog. What terrible unfair devastation. I am so sorry that Daniella died and wish she was still here with you as she should be.

  13. I can’t imagine what you are going through. Please know the community at large is here for you, what ever you need.My deepest sympathies to you.

  14. I heard from CLC…. I am just stunned. My heart aches for the horrible pain you must be feeling right now. OMG it’s just not right.

  15. I can not even begin to say how sorry I am for you and your family. Please know I am thinking of you and praying for you.

  16. I have no words. I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to describe what I am feeling for you right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers always.

  17. Here from CLC’s blog. To have this happen to anyone once is horrendous; twice, well, it’s just unfathomable. I am so very sorry. 😦

  18. I don’t know you but we share an awful experience of loosing a child. I cannot bear to think how you must feel right now to relive this pain again. I am lost for words.Emi and Daniela are part of you always. Bless your sweet angels.

  19. I am here from CLC’s blog. I don’t know what to say; I just wanted to offer you hugs, and to tell you this is awful terrible and my heart breaks for your loss. Holding you in my heart.

  20. There just aren’t any words. I’m so sorry and I will be praying for you, your family and your babies in heaven. XOXO

  21. I am just so very sorry. Here also from CLC’s blog. There are no words but please know I am thinking about you and your beautiful babies.

  22. I came over from Lost and Found. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I know firsthand that no one can say anything to take the pain away, but I hope you derive some comfort in knowing how many of us are out here thinking of you and sharing your pain. We will all remember Daniella too, and I hope wherever she is now, she is at peace. It isn’t fair that people have to go through this pain.

  23. Just me again. I just wanted to say that you have never been far from my thoughts since reading your post. I’m wish I could do more. K x

  24. I am so sorry. This is beyond unfair, to lose both your amazing, beautiful little girls. I am praying for you.

  25. Oh sweetheart, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss of your Daniella. I have no real words that will help at all, but you need to know just how sorry I am. I want to make it all better for you right now, and I can’t.I will hold you all in my heart tonight.

  26. Sending my deepest condolences for this devastating loss. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now. Wishing you healing and peace. I am so very sorry.

  27. I came over from “Lost & Found”. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s so hard to stay with a loss like this. I know what it’s like to be in that much pain that you to feel like you want to die. Eventually, you feel that less and less, but that might not mean much to you right now. Many hugs to you and your husband.

  28. I know that there are no words that will make you feel better but i am so sorry for your loss. no one should ever have to go through something like this. you and your family are in my prayers.

  29. I have been thinking about you all day. I know I don’t know you, but I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. At the very least, please know I am thinking of you, and praying that you find some peace.

  30. I am so very sorry. I have no other words to help but know my thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

  31. I’m also here from Lost & Found. I am completely at a loss for any words. I’m so, so sorry. My prayers are with you, your husband, and your two beautiful little girls.

  32. I’m here from Coggy’s blog. I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish things were different. I wish Daniella were still here. I’ll be praying for peace for you and sending many virtual hugs your way.

  33. I am so sorry. There are just no adequate words for this. I can’t believe this has happened to you again, so so sorry 😦

  34. I am so, so very sorry for your losses. Please take extra time to grieve and heal…find comfort in all these words from ‘strangers.’Lots of love to you and your sweet baby girls.

  35. I am so sorry for your loss. To have experienced it once before (been there, done that, don’t want to ever repeat it!) and then to go through it again… I don’t know what to say other than I am so sorry.

  36. I am so shocked and saddened to read this. I find I’m almost speechless- I keep coming back trying to find something to say.. and all I have is silence and sorrow for you.

  37. I just found you through Mel, and had to stop by and give you some love.We lost 2 sets of twins in similar circumstances (still don’t have any living children) – and my heart aches that you are enduring this yet again.Much love to you all….x

  38. Oh my god! I am so so sorry. God may is a shit month. I really dont know what to say. Nothing will make you feel better. Im so shocked.Huge hugs to

  39. I am speechless and devestated and the tears are flowing freely. I am thinking of you and your family. I am so very sorry and horrified at the cruelty of it all.

  40. Beautiful Curve, There are no words. I’m so fucking sorry. I am so full of disbelief and hurt for you right now. This is not fair and I’m so sorry this happened to you again. Holding you and your babies so very close to my heart. XO.

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