Cautiously Optimistic


Well so far so good. As I sat down for the sonogram I asked the technician if she knew our history. She assured me she did and that she was going to be searching for markers. She said that it’s still a wee-bit early, but that in most cases where there is a problem like ours, it can be seen this early. She saw nothing. Nada. The whole time I thought I would just about faint. So this is what one must feel like before they pass out. I could not look up at the screen, she even told me to do so. I was busy observing her facial expressions out of the corner of my eye. With Emi, I knew the bad news was coming befor I even heard it. The tech’s face said it all. This time, I saw nothing. She had me listen to the heart beat, it didn’t quite register to me – I just could not quite enjoy it I was so nervous. Nice and strong she said. Yup, they said that about Emi too, many many times. Yet she is not with me.

Hubby says I need to accept that as long as there is nothing to worry about, there is really nothing to worry about. I wanted to punch him. Can I punch him please?

Anyway, they were off on our dates slightly so I have to come back next week for the nuchal translucency(sp) test. So next week will be another opportunity for a look at out little tadpole; another chance at passing out too.

Thanks to everyone for all the good wishes, they are so very appreciated.

God in Heaven, thank you, thank you. This is your will thus far.


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

3 responses »

  1. And exhale. I have been thinking about you today, I even checked in on your blog on my mobile to get your update. I’m so glad that everything was OK today. Your husband is right, but yeah I’d want to punch mine too if he said that.

  2. Its really hard to get excited when something shit has happened to you in the past. I know where you are coming from. Yes you can punch him! 🙂 lolHugsxxx

  3. It will be very hard not to worry, and I bet it will be very hard for your husband to not want you to worry…so nah, I vote not to punch him. 🙂 I don’t think I’d be too receptive to my SO telling me that in a similiar situation though!

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