Nice weekend so far…


Little E has been on my mind. A LOT. I have been fighting back the tears, but it has been getting difficult. Next week my monthly support group meeting gets together, and it’s like it serves as my dose of sanity and understanding for the month. I leave feeling refreshed and understood, and as the time draws near for the next meeting, I start to feel so very sad again.

Currently I am under the hair dryer, which means my butt and back are hurting. Ahh…the price of beauty! Today I got a lot done: Switched my debt unto just one card, made certain my bills are current, froze my gym membership, worked out at home, had great sex with hubby, I am in the process of doing my hair and nails and taking it easy. Tonight we are going over to K & N’s home, they are a couple from our support group that have one toddler and 2 losses. K needs lots of tender love and care – I should know – I have been on that road and am still on it. It’s funny, because she is the second couple that have endured loss that hubby and I hang out with, yet we never discuss our losses. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else knows and understands your pain, is all that matters.

My colleague has left the job, this past Friday was her last day. So that means that everyone will come to me alone for assitance with everything. Coupled with recruitment, this will be quite a challenge. I am ready for the challenge but what I hate dealing with is the nagging feeling that my job is never secure. I have decided not to worry and to just keep pressing forward, but I often find myself trying to convince myself not to worry. After all what will be, will be.

That applies to pregnancy too, but I still have to convince myself of that.

…Story of my life convincing…


About Jessica Emilia

Mother, wife, grief survivor, dancer, yogi, feminine, baker, cook, lover, fighter, perfectly imperfect, optimistic, pessimistic, reader, writer, funny, sarcastic, compassionate, emphatic, sympatheric, HR Pro, anxious, confident, supernatural, hocus-pocus, friend, daughter and momma again...

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